An unapologetic Left-Hand perspective from the Right Wing.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Third Side Conservatism: An Introduction

Satanism is itself, conservative. The preservation of our standards, in accordance with the basic tenets of our philosophy is of utmost importance. (If it is necessary to delve further into an explanation of what is meant, the reader should reference The Satanic Bible and other works by the founder and upper echelons of the Church of Satan.) This isn’t to say there is no sense of evolutionary conception. On the contrary, evolution plays an essential role in our philosophy-religion, but not on the basis of the whole, per se. Our evolution takes root in the individual. As Satanists evolve individually, Satanism evolves with them, though the basic tenets stay the same.


As corny and cliché a metaphor could be, the tree is exemplary. The seeds of Satanism are all the same, though the trees are bound to grow differently. Regardless, the forest is made from the same seeds.

Insofar as the application of Satanism in politics, the environment in which that tree grows will help decide which way it “leans”. Pragmatism plays a vital role to the Satanist, and the application of Satanic thought may be attributed to various political philosophies dependent on one’s needs and desires. Therefore, Satanic conservatism is only one of many political positions Satanists may take part in.

Because conservatism may be applied to different schools of thought, it cannot be said that any two Satanic conservatives will be identical in their views any more than two Satanists are identical. However, the basic principles of the Third Side Conservative are bound to be similar, in that the philosophy is itself rooted in Satanism, i.e. based on the standards observed in the Nine Satanic Statements. As mentioned, the environment in which the Satanist lives makes a difference as to how one perceives their society, and so it coincides with any conservative application or beliefs. An instance of this is the country/nation to which one belongs. The political structure between nations is not altogether the same, if not significantly different. A Satanic U.S. conservative will not likely be applying the same conservative principles as a Satanic Swedish conservative.

The Third Side Conservative can support a number of “traditional” beliefs and practices that are no longer utilized, or perhaps are fading, but are also not supported by herd conservatives. Examples of these include gladiatorial games, public execution, classical education, master-apprentice relationships, eugenics reapplication, slavery, and the elimination of anthropological structuralism. Each of these examples deserves to be expounded upon in their own right, but each deserves their own mode of focus and analysis, and it wouldn’t suffice to do so within this writing.

Some Third Side conservative ideals may appear to be impracticable to the non-Satanist, but the use of Lesser Magic and manipulation of one’s surroundings to suit the needs of the individual allows for the practical application of many of them. Classical education may easily be practiced within one’s home and at their leisure. Eugenics may be applied through responsible breeding. The elimination of anthropological structuralism is a social Darwinian concept that is rooted in stratification, which is already utilized in the real world, though perhaps not as rigidly (or naturally) as it should be.

The aforementioned are examples of Third Side Conservative thought that will not likely apply to the ideologues of herd conservatism. This isn’t to say Third Side Conservatives cannot, or do not support anything herd conservatives support. As an American, I support limited government, minimal taxation, and the right to bear arms. These are the most popular tents of American conservative thought, no matter what school of conservative thought you look into. However, this also isn’t to say Third Side Conservatives support all herd conservative thought (which should be apparent).


All-in-all, Third Side Conservatives are a rare lot whose perspective of the world, especially the nation within which they reside, is taken in through the eyes of a Satanist. Satanists tend to be the dreamers and the doers without individual distinction, therefore applying Satanism to everyday life, including their politics if they feel so inclined. The Third Side Conservative doesn’t just sit back and yell at the world for not seeing the sense in applying what they believe to be right (at least not all the time), they apply it themselves, to the best of their ability, and create change within their surroundings. In turn, this affects those people the Satanist interacts with, who often haven’t a clue that they are being used as tools in the machination of Third Side Conservatism.